PS2 Whore

It's Degroovy!

2008-02-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

It's delightful to see two young men channeling their latent homosexuality in such a joyful, "revolutionary" way:

I'm particularly fond of the cowboy/lasso move they do above their heads. And the leapfrog. The whole thing makes me feel like a very dirty old man.

Rent Dance Dance Revolution now on GAMEFLY

Justify My Love

2008-02-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

I decided to order the SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition. I know, it's not exactly cutting edge but it's exactly the kind of non-peopled game I want to play.

Even though I shouldn't be wasting time or money on games, I justified it by using money I earned doing phone sex, and decided playing Simcity will go perfectly with being logged in to take phone sex calls. One will justify the other, since I actually don't have time to do either one (but enjoy both of them). It's impossible for me to take calls when I am blogging or working on web design projects; I just can't handle the interruptions. But it's so easy to pause SimCity that it seems like the perfect combination of activities.

Rapid Fire

2008-02-02T21:46:00.000-08:00

Today during my webcam show I was masturbating with my Hitachi Magic Wand (a really powerful vibrator) when a viewer told me,

I could do the same thing as that with my Tekken finger.

Funny stuff.

Rent Tekken now on GAMEFLY

The Sims 2

2008-01-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

I rented Sims 2 hoping it would be as cool as good old Sim City from years and years ago, combined with one of those old C64 lost-on-an-island games.

Sims 2 isn't as good as either of those alone. As a sim I'm forced to do things I detest, like socialize, have noisy roommates, SHOWER, do housework, etc. Just when I thought things would be fun at work, it turns out you don't get to go PLAY working. It's all about your time off in your stupid duplex trying to socialize with your stupid roommates. Clearly I am a SimCity girl who prefers impersonal blocks of buildings to trying to earn points for making out with sims. I just want to be God, the great engineer in the sky, plopping down parks and libraries. LOVED that game. Of course, I never got totally addicted to it the way my dad did, but I can understand an addiction to SimCity, not these peopley sims.

I have to confess, though, to being a changed human because of playing Sims 2; I've developed a sense of urgency I'd lost in the past six years of home-based self-employment. Playing this game with its compressed timetable in which you have to squeeze in eating, pooping, showering, working, etc. reminded me of my priorities; I want to be earning POINTS, not sitting around doing boring shit like watching myself eat, wash dishes, and change clothes. Since I started playing this game, in real life I've literally been running around the house, hurrying through all of the mundane things, loving that I don't have to WATCH myself slowly going through their motions on the screen. I want to ADVANCE I want to MAKE something I want to DO things! Oh, my ASPIRATION meter!

Even though part of me hates this game, another part of me is bizarrely motivated by it and I'm reminded of my priorities in life (totally NOT trying new styles of makeup or cleaning the toilet). I'm still curious about where the game goes and if it gets better, and I still haven't built anything or done freeplay mode at all, so I'm reluctant to send it back before I see if it gets more fun.

I would actually love to find some kind of a software simulator that allows you to plug in real-life tasks you've completed (sleep, exercise, reading, showering, etc.) and have all of them weighed and calculated as contributing to needs and alerting you when you're out of whack or are about to run out of steam in one area, the same way the meter warns you in Sims 2 when you're about to starve to death or when there are flies buzzing around your toilet. It's hard to juggle all of these duties especially when you work for yourself -- if I could import some Sims 2 tools I think I'd be balancing it all better.

Anyhoo, here are some cool cheats and tips I found online:

GrrlGamer's Review
Gamewinners: cheats, codes, hints, etc.

I think I'm going to add the PC version of this game to my "fun & games" wishlist since some of what's lame about this game are the memory limitations playing it on a console.

Rent The Sims 2 now on GAMEFLY

I Miss "Simple" Games

2007-11-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

I really miss the simple-looking games I used to play on our Commodore 64. Shit with really basic graphics or no graphics at all.

At our house we didn't have Atari or any of that, we had a C64. I played some very fun typing tutorials, Zork, Toy Bizarre, Blue Max, and a host of other things with names I can't remember. Those are the ones I want back the most, the ones with names I can't remember. Ahhh, like this: Lode Runner.

I haven't played any computer games since then, only consoles. I don't even have a pc joystick.

Gamefly

2007-11-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

Even though I don't have time or money for games, in August I let myself sign up for Gamefly, a Netflix-like video game rental site. I got sucked in by a one-month free trial and the awareness that I hardly ever let myself unwind with my PS2 (which is still our only console).

I only have two games out at a time and thought it would be a good way to figure out which games I like enough to buy, and to try games I know I probably shouldn't spend money on to keep, but am curious about anyway. I've had so little time to play that I've had the same two games out for two months; still, it's cheaper than buying the games (or renting them locally and getting late fees or feeling like I *have* to play them right away for two days straight).

One of things I like about Gamefly is that it's a good/fast resources for getting walkthroughs and cheat codes. Since I'm not an avid gamer I don't have favorite resource sites bookmarked nor do I have time (or the brains) to figure everything out on my own so it's convenient to just get all of that stuff on Gamefly, including instructions to print out (which are always mangled or missing from the local video store or absent when you buy used games). Since Gamefly obviously makes money through subscriptions, they don't sell ads like most gamer resource sites do so there aren't buttloads of popups and tons of distracting banner ads. For a novice, it's really nice.

"The Joy of Sucking"

2006-07-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Wired News: The Joy of Sucking: "Failing at a game, the study argues, can be just as pleasant as succeeding."

What do you think? Do you enjoy games you suck at as much as games at which you display masterful skill? I certainly suck at enough games that it seems I enjoy the experience quite a bit . . .

Nightmare Before Christmas Game on PS2?

2005-09-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness -- I cannot wait!! The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge.

Teen Puppy's Punishment

2005-06-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting little post from a submissive woman regarding the role of gaming in her D/s relationship:

"Gaming will likely result in some punishment for me because Master has decided he doesn't like me swearing - so I get two cane strokes per swear word. This is very unfortunate for me because I trashtalk when I play (sometimes) and swear a lot during boss battles. Eeek."

Apparently "Master" also likes to make her suck his dick while he's playing with his Gameboy. Not something I would submit to, but I certainly wouldn't mind earning Dance Dance Revolution & Pad.

Crush my Console!!!

2005-05-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from Melissa Gira's blog sharing a phone sex customer's request:

"I was looking for A mistress that understands a kind of strange fetish its called a crush fetish, let me explain my particular fetish is of a beutiful sexy woman take my expensive video game equipment and crushing them under her high heels while laughing and degrading me as she steps on and crushes hundreds of dollers worth of video game equipment under her heels like it was just a nunince that was in her way while telling me that I no longer need them because you are going to turn me into your sissy. Now here is what I am looking for if you would be willing to do this with me, a truly cruel mistress that I could send my games to who would enjoy dominating me over the phone and and laugh at me and makes me listen as she crushes them under her high heels."

Quick Return of the King

2005-05-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

My wrist hurts from masturbating with my hitachi magic wand too much, and playing Return of the King. I should just buy it since I've rented it before, but I like having a time limit (three days) so I don't get too carried away.

Here's The Return of the King Walkthrough (PS2) to help me make the most of my time. Nice, that's the nicest walk-through I've ever seen. Not that I've seen a lot of them, but this is the best one with pictures and everything.

Devil May Cry

2005-03-11T23:44:00.000-08:00

We bought Devil May Cry before Christmas, but I'm only now "allowing myself" to spend some quality time with the PS2 and this game. I have pretty high expectations for the game, considering it was good enough for a sequel, but at the same time I have a tendency to get impatient with a lot of starting & stopping in a game. Too much storyline bores me, so I won't be surprised if I get annoyed with this game. We'll see and I'll post back . . .

Time Limits

2005-03-04T21:22:00.000-08:00

We became so addicted that we put the playstation games away and restricted ourselves to two hours a week. During that time we haven't played at all . . . it would be hard to limit ourselves to two hours. Guess it's an all or nothing proposition.

I've noticed that the longer I sit at the PS2, the less I seem to enjoy myself. I get tense and angry.

Hmmm . . . I *do* have time for a two hour stint tonight, though . . .

SSX 3

2005-01-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

We have been wasting SO much time playing SSX.

I play as Zoe, and Tucker plays as Nate. This is definitely my favorite of the games I've played; there's not a lot of pausing and stopping for drama, it's easy and fun to start snowboarding right away with absolutely no skill while still allowing for TONS of tricks to learn and master, it's barely violent (except for enthusiastic punches you throw at fellow boarders) so I don't wind up having nightmares about trying to kill people, and the graphics are *beautiful*. You can turn off the music and just listen to the sound of a board whooshing over snow and riding rails, and the wind howling.

It's so pretty!!

Here's an interesting little gripe with reader comments about the game. Interesting . . . we'll have to ge the first game so we can hear the famous voices of Lucy Liu and Billy Zane (mmm!).

Speaking of Gandalf . . .

2004-10-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Gandolf (LotR) vs Dumbledore (Harry Potter)

Get out of my WAY!!

2004-10-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

I really hate it when the wandering fucking wizard gets in my way -- move your ass Gandalf, you stupid son of a bitch!!!

Better Walkthrough

2004-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

Nice -- I wonder how much I confused myself reading that gamecube walkthrough? No *wonder* I didn't understand the symbols they used to correspond with the buttons/controls. Ugh.

Oh well, the link was blocked anyway, so I'll help myself for future reference by checking out the walkthrough on this page by Clallzidus (or maybe another one's better, who knows).

Balin's Tomb

2004-10-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

I know you're all *dying* to know if I met my goal: yes, last night I -finally- beat Balin's Tomb. AND Amon Hen. AND Fanghorn Forest. AND Plains of Rohan. The latter three thanks to an online walk-through I finally relented to reading. Birdman teased me for being a cheater, but trust me . . . I am still PLENTY challenged even with the tips. I have extremely poor recall so I just don't learn anything from one attempt to another. In fact, my game usually suffers the more times I try to play through a level.

Yeah, that's right. I suck at crossword puzzles and video games. But I had a blast last night. I actually have a blister forming on my left thumb. It's just so relaxing to immerse myself in something that takes all of my concentration . . . and is completely inconsequential. Vacation of the mind.

Tonight's Goal

2004-09-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

My only goal is to play my PS2 and finally beat the Balin's Tomb level on The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I have been struggling to kill the cave troll after advancing to the area where I'm running and hiding behind the columns to avoid being whipped by his chain. FYI: I always play as Gimli. And in Return of the King, I prefer to play as Sam. I favor the short, stocky guys.

Only Rejects Play Video Games?

2004-06-13T01:28:00.000-07:00

According to a thread I saw on an adult webmaster board, "only geeks, dweebs, and other rejects play video games". The post goes on to posit, "nothing wastes potential more than Video games. There's probably a high chance you're a star trek or Kid Rock fan if you play video games."

I can't deny that I am a geek, a dweeb, and rejected by many. But that's part of my charm and appeal as an indie webwhore.

As far as Star Trek, it was a show that my stepdad and stepbrothers watched when I was little and never really understood. I liked the girls in short futuristic go-go dresses. I liked Captain Kirk . . . and also found myself strangely attracted to Spock. As I got older I never really got into watching Next Generation or any of that . . . I felt I didn't have the foundation of understanding required to truly appreciate the show. I must say that I LOVED the documentary, Trekkies. Watching that movie actually made me want to watch the shows for the social and political subtext.

Am I a Kid Rock fan? No, I'm not a fanatic -- I have never bought any of his "music". But yeah, he appeals to me in a sweetly idealistic white trash sort of way. We saw a video on VH1 of him break dancing at a junior high assembly or something like that. How endearing!

Has any of my potential been wasted because of video games? Maybe some, but many other diversions have wasted more of my potential. Masturbating, for example, has wasted more of my time . . . but eventually helped me actualize my potential as a webwhore. ;)

I Bought a Game

2004-05-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

When I got home the new monitor was waiting and it felt like Christmas!! Good movies from Netflix, a new game for the PS2, the new usb 2.0 cards for two of our machines, and other crap I'd brought home with me . . . wow, I don't know if I could give all that up for the life of a vagabond webwhore.

Tucker ate while I played Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (yeah, rather than splurging on the newer Return of the King, I made my first PS2 game purchase a tiny bit retro).

And then, Tucker and I started making out on the couch. After a lot of dry humping we wound up fucking to the $9.99 Joss Stone cd I spotted on an endcap at Best Fucking Buy.

Crimson Red & Island Blue

2004-05-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

The two-pack of memory cards came a few days ago. I figured I'd lay claim to one card and Tucker could save his games on the other. I asked Tucker which color he wanted and of course he didn't care, so I chose the red one leaving him the blue (which IS the color he jokingly said he preferred).

Picking the right color of memory card was a lot like selecting a game piece in Monopoly or any other game in which players have a token to move around a board. Have you noticed that there are two kinds of people? There are the kinds of people who are very particular and passionate about their token or the color of their game piece, while other people just shrug their shoulders when you ask, "what color do you want to be?" I tend to gravitate towards the richest colors with the deepest hues, so the actual color varies from game to game.

2004-05-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com: Computer & Video Games: 2 Pack PS2 Memory Cards: Red & Blue:
Hahaha! I just got this on eBay for $20.50 (plus shipping but I'd have paid that at amazon too).

I considered buying ONE memory card for $29.99 at our local video store since I wouldn't have to pay shipping on it BUT I'd have had to pay tax. It would have wound up being a sort of donation to local business though and it IS nice to have those things for sale in our small town. Hmmm. . . should I feel guilty?

Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness

2004-04-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

We decided to go rent a PS2 game and drink some Mimosas last night. Let me just say that Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness is fucking boring. I do not want to collect candybars, I want to kick ass, mkay?

My Day Off

2004-04-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

Played with the dog outside a bit and brushed her a little. Let's see, what else did I do . . . spent a bunch of time playing Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. While I was disturbed and exhausted by the unrelenting violence of the movie(s), actually playing a ROLE in orc-killing was fun fun FUN! I am such a talentless gamer I am still trying to get Sam to escape with Frodo from Easdflkjai before he gets snatched up by the great winged Msdofiulknadfkj (can you tell I never read the books and do not have a head for geography-based fiction dependent on memorizing place names and strategic locations?).

After seeing a movie, we came home and tried to get some super-high res pics (the kind that take up so much memory we can only shoot seven at a time before our camera's compact flash card runs out of memory) of Tucker for the guys at Unzipped. This definitely qualifies as work - trying to find an acceptable background for the pics, outfit, lighting, etc. Lip gloss to the mouth and the nipples. Fluffing, shooting, fluffing, shooting. Thank god Tucker is a fantastic model. While downloading the pics I continued trying to escape with Frodo before the big screeching bat thing picked him up and carried him away. I've gotten to the sewers but the big troll with green jello on his head keeps finishing me off due to my poor parrying.

THEN we went to bed and fucked because all that "work" fluffing and shooting and fluffing and shooting required some follow-up.

My Boyfriend's Joystick

2004-03-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Full Gallery appearing now in my Boyfriend's Members-Only area.
JOIN NOW for access to ALL of his pics (full size) & vids!

That's Tucker playing Prince of Persia. Ever since we got the PS2 I've gotten nothing substantive done even though we haven't played with the PS2 since last week when we had to return the game to the video store. Anyway, there's a jolly jack off vid accompanying that scrumptious picture set of him.

2004-03-12T00:43:00.000-08:00

There's something way too erotic and tantalizing about chasing that girl around in Prince of Persia as though she needs rescuing. I think she's just a prick-tease. And that huge bed with all those big-titted sabre-wielding fiends? Wow. Sexy!!

2004-03-11T23:14:00.000-08:00

UP LATE
We stayed up until four in the morning last night playing Prince of Persia. We got to the part after the axle pick-up thingy with the moon signs on it followed by a booby-trapped hallway leading to a door that would shut if the boobytrap clock ticked down. Haven't had much of a chance to play today and I have to take the game back tomorrow, but I did just now barely manage to get under that door just as it was closing.

I found myself becoming quite intolerable as the night wore on last night, screeching high-pitched orders to my boyfriend, trying to tell him what to do during his turns. I do enjoy doing a one player game with two people. It gives you a break and a chance to just watch and enjoy, but still progress in the game. We can't save our games because I don't have a memory card (yet).

I particularly enjoy killing things. The vibrations from the controller when sucking the "sand" out of characters taking their last breaths is quite satisfying.

2004-03-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

MY FIRST GAME RENTAL
I walked to one of the video stores in town prepared to make my first game rental. I spent a good fifteen minutes simply browsing, trying to decide if I should buy a used game or just rent a title. It was hard choosing, but I decided to try out Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time. It costs $4 to rent for two nights -- even though I have TONS of other things to do, like working on our new website, SpyOnUs.com, I don't want to let my $4 go to waste, do I?

Will have to get in some good time exploring the game later tonight . . . had to do housework first and we're going to a lecture on travel in Turkey tonight so not sure when I'll get to curl up with my controller.

2004-03-10T01:07:00.000-08:00

DRINKING & GAMING
As my boyfriend and I sat on the couch laughing at our clumsy martial arts moves while playing Jet Li: Rise to Honor, I thirsted for a gin and tonic. I rarely feel the urge to drink, but something about hanging out on the couch sharing our one Dual Shock 2 Controller made me feel so relaxed and easy-going that I deeply desired a drink.

I had to settle for going to the grocery store and getting beer and snacks since the liquor store was closed at that hour. Still, the effect was marvelous as I got a little beer buzz and attempted to manouver James Bond on a motorcycle. The speeding, the swerving . . . the spinning in my head . . . ahhhhh. That's the life for me!

2004-03-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

MY PS2 ARRIVED TODAY
I'm a 30 year old woman who hasn't played video games since we had a Commodore 64 when I was still attending gradeschool. My favorite games back then were Toy Bizarre (which I took to the highest levels) and Blue Max. Between then and now the only experience I've had playing "video games" (do they even call them that anymore?) was in high school when the kids I babysat for would play Super Mario Bros. on their Nintendo. I would beg to play, they would hand the controller to me, and scream instructions at me . . . which I failed to properly follow, much to their hysterical amusement. At 17, I couldn't compete with 8 and 11 year old boys. I couldn't even master jumping onto that flagpole. It sucked ass.

I guess there is one other time I tried playing games: at GameWorks in Vegas last year. I sucked ass there too.

But lately I've been wanting to have a game system at home. I am too "in my head" too often, and my spatial orientation is sort of fucked up. I don't manouver myself through space very well. Aside from the appealing graphics of games today and the sheer entertainment factor, I think playing video games could help me a little to think about navigating through space if that makes any sense.

Anyway, one of the members to my indie porn site bought me a PS2. They "whys" of that story are too detailed to number right now. But anyway, I'm pretty fucking excited. It just arrived today. He also bought a demo disc of more than 8 games, I believe. My favorite by far is Jet Li: Rise to Honor. I also like the atmosphere in Castlevania, but it doesn't seem quite as satisfying as beating the shit out of human characters. I enjoy the dripping rain sounds in both of them. I guess being a native Washingtonian has an impact on my video game preferences. Either way, I'd love to get the full version of both of these games.

My skill with all of this is piss-poor. Fortunately, my boyfriend's in the same boat (so far). All in all, I spent a splendidly wasteful first day with my PS2.

If anyone wants to buy me stuff for my PS2, I have some games and things on my Amazon wishlist.

Anyway, I decided to keep a little journal of my adventures in video games. It will be interesting to track my progress and in the future (whether I'm completely addicted to games or eventually disinterested) to look back and see the beginnings of it all.